Back to Back Issues Page
Top Tips to Help Aging & Ailing Family Members- December 2012
December 13, 2012


Passion, Your Most Power Caregiver Weapon

Your secret and strongest weapon as a caregiver for a family member is passion. It can also be your greatest downfall.

Believe me, I’ve been there. I once sat in a care plan meeting for my mother at her dementia care residence and was told “Your family is co-dependent, you need to start letting her go…” I responded if being passionate about my mom’s care and safety was being co-dependent then we’ll proudly claim it. I knew my family’s passion for mom wasn’t convenient for an organization that wasn't willing to provide quality care.

The fly in the ointment of all this passion is that our spontaneous defenses and anger over my mom’s care was not getting us the results we wanted. We were being written off as negative, impossible to please and people to be avoided.

Our relationship with her care community needed to change but how would we do it?

We needed to channel our passion constructively to get the best care for my mom. The truth was if we were confrontational and killed the messenger, we were also killing our chances of hearing the truth about mom’s needs and care. If we were always angry and pointing out problems, why would anyone interact with us voluntarily?

So this is what we did…

We started keeping a log, where we documented what went right and what went wrong.

We used the log to prepare an agenda of things we wanted to discuss for meetings with the care community’s management.

We made sure to offer praise for things that went well and we discussed problems that needed to be corrected. When we discussed problems, we provided as many facts as possible, the time, the date or day of the week, who was involved and how many times the problem happened.

We came to the table with a specific remedy or solution in mind and we asked for it

No one in the family met with the management staff on their own (especially my dad who was particularly “passionate”).

We documented the agreed upon solution and the date when it would be implemented.

We followed up as needed to make sure that things changed.

I’d like to report that we saw a marked improvement in my mom’s care right away but the truth is, it took time. We kept at it, documenting, praising, constructively complaining and following up. Over time we did make a difference, management took our complaints more seriously; we felt more powerful in protecting mom and slowly things improved.


Passion, love and regard for your family member is your strongest tool as a family caregiver. Used wisely and constructively, you can make sure your loved one gets the care they need.




New Class Coming in January


I'm excited to announce a new teleclass 5 Simple Secrets to Guarantee Quality Care for your Family Member that I will conducting via telephone in January 2013.

This class is perfect for stressed and overworked families because you don't have to go anywhere to attend the class just call in from your home or office.

On this ground breaking call you’ll learn:

One simple habit to start NOW to guarantee that your family member gets the best care from everyone they work with.

The most under-utilized and generous government benefit your family member may qualify for

What is the hardest stage of caring for a person with memory loss and surefire techniques you can use to make this stage easier for the entire family.

How to recognize the signs of impending caregiver burnout and stop the process right in its tracks.

More details will be coming your way in early January!



Is it Time to Discuss Your Eldercare Challenges with an Expert?

Have your caregiving responsibilities left you stressed, angry or feeling guilty?

Do you suspect that your family member needs help and don't know where to start?

Whether you are an experienced caregiver verging on burnout or a new caregiver who is not sure how to help a family member, you can benefit from Eldercare Coaching.

As a special offer to my newsletter members, I'm offering a no cost 30 minute consultation.

To experience what's it's like to have an expert in your corner providing advice and resources tailored to your unique situation, click here to schedule a no cost 30 minute consultation ($75 value).

We have some new programs to fit different learning styles and budgets. At the end of our free consultation, we can discuss whether live coaching, email coaching or a self study course will best meet your needs.

To learn more about these new options, check out our Programs page.



Join Us on Facebook

I post articles and items of interest through out the month on The Eldercare Coach page on Facebook. Please join the discussion.
Back to Back Issues Page